The Corruption of Love

I have a fascination with interactions between humans that can be described by the following words: loving, passionate, hot, cold, mundane, fuzzy, borderline, and twisted. Partly because my feelings evade me, and partly because I witness a surplus of unhealthy love; Ergo, the lack of clarity is widespread. Who's confused? Can I get a what-what!?!

First of all, it certainly does not help that I have spent the past year and a half of my life working in strip clubs. For the emotionally fragile, this is the best way to become a pessimist and kiss a happy relationship goodbye. For the emotionally durable, it adds perspective and knowledge of human behavior.

Just so we're clear, I put myself in the durable category. We can't have me sobbing over my computer mid article, that wouldn't get us anywhere.

My trust issues are nominal because I only trust those who come through the filter clean. Not sure what I mean? Here are some thoughts:

1) If they are lying to other people, they are probably lying to you too

2) If they are married and unfaithful...you really think they value committment? Or do their whims and physical impulses take precedence?

3) Look at their closest friends

4) LISTEN and OBSERVE

The second thought is problematic for some people so I want to be as straightforward as humanly possible. Put yourself in the shoes of this person's spouse...not so cool anymore huh? 'nuff said. Protect the sanctity of marriage by using your brain, and protect the sanctity of brains by remembering that you have one...

Speaking of brains, they are perhaps the most important tool in the search for a peaceful and functional relationship. They allow human beings to see past all their convoluted feelings and think analytically about whether or not a relationship with someone will actually work long-term. Sometimes, you have to date a person to find out that it isn't the right fit. This process is called PITA, or "pain in the ass". After getting fed up with PITA once, I googled "oracles" because I just wanted someone to tell me what I'm doing wrong and how to do it right. Unfortunately, google gave me the software company rather than merlin and a crystal ball.

I was bummed out, but continue the PITA process because I can't seem to avoid it. Now the issue is...what if your brain says someone is right for you, and the physical attraction is there, but your feelings vacated the premises? Is this an emotional blockage? Do you need to pass up on opportunities with great people just to find the one who lights the emotional fireworks?

I've only felt wildly in love once when I was 17-18 and since then my feelings have been riddled with some degree of confusion. My emotions and my brain cannot come to a compromise!

So what I want to know is...for those people with happy relationships, how does it work? What are the most important things? How picky is too picky, and how do I know if I'm overlooking "perfect for me" in the impossible quest for "perfect? COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT!!! I plan on writing Part 2 after I get some responses and hear what people have to say!!

What issues are other people having with relationships and love? What is difficult? What is easy? I hope that by putting our brains to work we can all come out of this discussion a little bit wiser and more prepared to live our lives with happy, supportive, peaceful, and flourishing relationships.